id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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