We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
