no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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