you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
