why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont lie about slip and slides
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize