Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
