I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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