He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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