You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
