I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize