Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
