Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
