Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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