So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
A Guy Sent A Woman What May Be The Craziest Breakup Text Ever
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina