i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
