Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.

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  (630): Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun. http://tfl.nu/krwt
  Replies (8) Good night (821) Bad night (2171)
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  (980): View more from North Carolina

  so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.

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  (980): so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room. http://tfl.nu/bjdl
  Replies (5) Good night (3063) Bad night (1442)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?

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  (270): I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea? http://tfl.nu/h6xa
  Replies (43) Good night (9420) Bad night (2507)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?

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  (614): Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit? http://tfl.nu/zum7
  Replies (35) Good night (1654) Bad night (5648)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.

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  (337): i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out. http://tfl.nu/6suh
  Replies (169) Good night (2015) Bad night (20766)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow

  (1-785): View more from Kansas

  why would you restrict a girl of that

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  (785): coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow (1-785): why would you restrict a girl of that http://tfl.nu/flyl
  Replies (6) Good night (2299) Bad night (810)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?

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  (613): Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots? http://tfl.nu/j4og
  Replies (6) Good night (2878) Bad night (987)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.

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  (202): Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood. http://tfl.nu/hors
  Replies (2) Good night (2050) Bad night (815)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"

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  (740): I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots" http://tfl.nu/pkth
  Replies (12) Good night (5354) Bad night (973)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....

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  (910): I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself..... http://tfl.nu/3gq0
  Replies (4) Good night (1379) Bad night (666)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.

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  (920): I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation. http://tfl.nu/1i3x
  Replies (7) Good night (1473) Bad night (570)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.

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  (414): I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid. http://tfl.nu/33wc
  Replies (3) Good night (499) Bad night (1113)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.

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  (308): The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it. http://tfl.nu/le1i
  Replies (5) Good night (663) Bad night (1025)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.

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  (541): I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do. http://tfl.nu/nqe0
  Replies (1) Good night (1011) Bad night (842)
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  (562): View more from California

  You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..

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  (562): You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire".. http://tfl.nu/0vru
  Replies (0) Good night (322) Bad night (687)

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