Texts From Last Night

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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes

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  (636): I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes http://tfl.nu/5pzj
  Replies (7) Good night (858) Bad night (1008)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.

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  (918): Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken. http://tfl.nu/pmvb
  Replies (8) Good night (1398) Bad night (602)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.

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  (240): I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll. http://tfl.nu/r0xh
  Replies (18) Good night (960) Bad night (3613)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out

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  (513): Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out http://tfl.nu/2ht3
  Replies (19) Good night (4290) Bad night (774)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up

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  (586): you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up http://tfl.nu/umx5
  Replies (15) Good night (905) Bad night (4366)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.

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  (253): Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me. http://tfl.nu/6zni
  Replies (28) Good night (1859) Bad night (5458)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.

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  (802): I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me. http://tfl.nu/p69o
  Replies (11) Good night (1073) Bad night (3011)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.

  (1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Wait. Someome brought slutcake?

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  (403): Christ, I really took the slutcake last night. (1-403): Wait. Someome brought slutcake? http://tfl.nu/hkv2
  Replies (9) Good night (2130) Bad night (608)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown

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  (715): begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown http://tfl.nu/xg0v
  Replies (4) Good night (1053) Bad night (442)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  where are you?

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick

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  (816): where are you? (1-816): talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick http://tfl.nu/w2ig
  Replies (4) Good night (1444) Bad night (415)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right

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  (207): So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right http://tfl.nu/bi9y
  Replies (7) Good night (1364) Bad night (406)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...

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  (901): As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you... http://tfl.nu/9ceg
  Replies (10) Good night (531) Bad night (1916)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..

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  (732): Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say.. http://tfl.nu/7n6y
  Replies (3) Good night (460) Bad night (213)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.

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  (334): You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink. http://tfl.nu/xadi
  Replies (2) Good night (945) Bad night (240)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.

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  (330): We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person. http://tfl.nu/07yn
  Replies (6) Good night (746) Bad night (270)

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