and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.