I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Randomize
