I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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