I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
