Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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