We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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