I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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