...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
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