There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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