So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
