Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
now i know why i became what i already was.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
