i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
