Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
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