I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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