The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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