have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
