so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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