I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
