is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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