Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
