A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
