Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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