I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
