physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
