Have you finally orgasmed yet?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
birth control should be required to get into college
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
