I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
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I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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