I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize