I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
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