Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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