I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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