Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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