Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
