Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
