SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
