Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
