Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
