SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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