She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
