absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
