remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
