Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize