Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize