Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize